She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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