Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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