Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
