He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize