put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
