Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I need water and some morals
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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