Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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