we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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