Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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