I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
