still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
