You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
