just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
