he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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