Quick, to the slutcave!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
