If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
