Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize