Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
