At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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