I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
