well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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