she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm always down for nudity.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
