I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
