girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
