soooo we both peed the bed last night...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
