I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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