sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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