i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
