I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
