I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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