Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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