Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
