Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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