the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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