I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
