If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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