New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
