Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize