He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
