Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
