What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
