from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
