YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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