I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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