I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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