soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
