What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
