I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
did you just send me my own nude
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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