Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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