Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
