Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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