dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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