You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
