you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
