Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My penis needs a shock collar
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
