New invention idea: vibrating tampons
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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