I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
