yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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